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2004 Soap Box Archives Look In The Mirror 06/28/04 It’s bad enough when Hollywood stars and other people get on their pulpit and start preaching about gun control when there’s an armed personal bodyguard waiting in the wings for them. But
when they start on the evils of the SUV it just about gets my I drive an SUV, have been driving an SUV and intend to keep on driving an SUV. I paid for it and buy the gas it uses, which I figure makes it nobody’s business but mine. And since you people are so determined to blame us “good ole boys” for all the excess, let me make a few suggestions of my own. I’ll give my SUV up under one circumstance. The celebrities will have to give up their private jets and limousines. One round trip from Los Angeles to New York on a Gulf Stream Five burns more fuel than my SUV burns in a year. Why can’t they fly commercial? Most everybody else does. If they’re as environmentally concerned as they claim to be they could see the advantage of deleting all those extra jet trails out of an already crowded sky. And how about those big stretch limos? How much gas do they burn on a round trip to the Academy Awards? Since they’re so concerned about fuel consumption why can’t they arrive at the red carpet in a Yugo? And here’s another idea. Why can’t the stars who are worried about world hunger go to the awards in a tee shirt, blue jeans and an old pair of tennis shoes wearing just a Timex and a scarf on their heads to hide the lack of a five hundred dollar hairdo. Then they could give the money they save to alleviate hunger, and it would most likely be a considerable sum. Heck the designer dresses, hair arrangements and jewelry for one night must amount to the total GNP for some small third world countries. I mean does paying thousands of dollars for a dress you’re only going to wear one time make good sense? And you want to get on us for throwing away aluminum cans? And another huge savings would be if instead of stopping off at Spago they could go by McDonald’s. And they could turn those expensive champagne and caviar parties into weenie roasts, but remember no open fires, got to take of the environment. And now about the guns. I don’t begrudge you folks the protection of an armed bodyguard. I wish everybody had one, it’s a mean old world, but the plain truth is that most folks just can’t afford one, so they guard their own body and the bodies of their families. They have a constitutionally mandated right to own a gun. So that puts them on a kind of level playing field with you all. But let’s face it, they just can’t afford a jet. Pray for our troops. What do you think? God Bless America Charlie Daniels
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