2004 Soap Box Archives

The Kerry Comedy 04/19/04

One of the most vital issues facing our nation is terrorism and how the
war against it will be fought and if John Kerry is going to run for
President he needs to come up with a comprehensive plan.

So far all I’ve heard out of him is, “I’d go to the United Nations.”
Wake up, John! When is it going to dawn on you that most of the United
Nations don’t give a damn about America? They wouldn’t loan us a
bucket of swamp water if the entire state of Massachusetts was on fire.

You could talk until your considerable face turned blue and all you
would get is platitudes and diplomatic double talk and even if the UN
did get around to doing something it would probably be sometime late in
the next century. And then it would probably be in the form of a
resolution.

John don’t you realize that people who strap dynamite to their bodies
and fly planes into buildings don’t pay much attention to resolutions?
The only diplomacy they respect comes out of the business end of a gun.

So let me get this straight. You would turn the defense and the
sovereignty of America over to a bunch of guys in blue beanies who
carry rifles they can’t shoot at anybody? You’re going to have to do
better than that Johnny boy.

And John, I think you owe an apology to the Vietnam vets. You said
some pretty hard things about them after you joined the Fonda brigades.
Why don’t you acknowledge them for being the honorable soldiers that
they are?

And I notice you’ve taken up that old Democrat mantra, “tax cuts for
the rich.” John, just where do you think the start up money for new
businesses and major investments come from? It certainly isn’t from
people making minimum wages. I know because I’ve worked for minimum
wages.

In other words you think you can do a better job of spending our money
than we can.

Well let me tell you something Mr. Kerry when I get a dollar and spend
it I am releasing 100 cents into the economy. When the government gets
it, by the time it is drained through the bureaucracy there’s only 28
to 30 cents left and then you guys in Congress are apt to spend it on
studying the sex life of a sand flea.

You see, Mr. Kerry, if you guys would stop wasting our tax dollars,
you’d have enough to do what needs to be done. I say if you can’t run
the government on what you’re getting now, why don’t you go home and
give somebody else a shot at it.

And oh by the way, we do have some common ground. I’m with you on not
sending jobs out of the country. I have been against NAFTA since it’s
inception and believe it should be repealed.

Now having said that I have an idea how you can help bring jobs back
into the United States.

Why don’t you have your wife talk to the folks who run Heinz Foods and
get them to move all their factories into the U.S.A. since
the lion’s share of them are in foreign countries? That ought to help
some.

Pray for our troops.

What do you think?

God Bless America.

Charlie Daniels