2003 Soap Box Archives

Poltical Correctness 03/08/03

We hear a lot these days about political correctness and although it is
used to describe a lot of situations I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a
clear cut definition.

I would like to offer my own personal definition and while I’m sure that
it won’t be all inclusive, nor the quintessential end all description of
this shallow verbal phenomenon, I nevertheless will give you my
impressions.

1. It’s not what something is, it’s what you call it.

2. Never actually face reality.

3. There is no evil in the world except for Pat Robertson and Jesse
Helms.

4. I’m ok and you’re ok.

5. Give voice to all opinions except those which differ from your own.

6. If you ignore it it will go away.

7. Posture and placate.

8. You bear no responsibility for your own actions, for example if you
smoke and get lung cancer it’s the tobacco company’s fault.

9. Find a spot where the sand is deep enough to bury your whole head
when faced with controversy.

10. Always take the verbal high ground, no matter how silly it is.

11. When it comes to a choice between idealism and practicality always
choose idealism.

12. Talk a lot about the environment whether you know what you’re
talking about or not.

13. Always support your cronies no matter how wrong they are.

14. Never appear too patriotic , it just ain’t cool.

15. Blame America for all the problems in the world except the ones
that Bill Clinton caused.

16. Oppose the death penalty while supporting partial birth abortion.

17. Put the rights of animals ahead of the rights of human beings.

18. If someone criticizes a minority, no matter what the reason, scream
racists.

19. Advocate trash on television in the name of freedom of speech.

20. Support public television and radio.

21. Never question the decisions of the United Nations.

22. Develop the attitude that all war is bad and always sympathize with
the enemy.

23. Blame Israel for the whole Middle Eastern mess, making excuses for
the poor old Palestinian bombers who blow up women and children.

24. Be strong on the issue of church versus state and ostracize anybody
who is old fashioned enough to believe that the words under God should
be in the Pledge of Allegiance.

25. Attend all functions like the Foundation for the Arts soiree,
have a glass of chardonnay and a piece of quiche and rub elbows with the
hoi poloi. P.S. The chardonnay is optional and
a glass of Perrier can be substituted, but the quiche is mandatory.

26. Last and most important, get yourself ready for a very large dose of
reality. It’s coming. You’d better believe it’s coming.

What do you think?

God Bless America

Charlie Daniels